Cambridge dictionary defines this commonly used expression, “full of yourself” as “thinking that you are very important in a way that annoys other people.” I’m sure we have come across a couple of people who we want to say, “You’re so full of yourself!” The opposite of this would be “empty of yourself.” This, however, does not mean “thinking that you are not very important in a way that does not annoy other people.” That would be self-humiliation. Rather, it is “thinking that others are as important as you are in a way that empowers them and takes the best out of them.”
Being empty of oneself in the Christian tradition is called “kenosis.” It literally means “self-emptying.” This is one of my favorite Greek words that describes the entire life of Jesus of Nazareth. His life is all about emptying himself. The cross is the epitome of this self-emptying life. He emptied himself to the point of death. This is far from self-deprivation which is self-focused and thus self-serving. The difference between self-emptying and self-deprivation is analogous to that of humility and humiliation. C. S. Lewis once said, “humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Self-emptying is to make space for others than to be full of yourself. This contemplative life of self-emptying has two interdependent directions: 1) Godward and 2) others-ward. But before we go there, we should ask the most fundamental question: what does it even mean to empty myself? As I understand it, the quickest and most effective way to do so is to suspend our thinking and feeling by literally saying to oneself, “I don’t know.” This goes against Descartes’ famous statement, “I think, therefore I am.” This practice of non-thinking is more like “I think not, therefore I am.” When our faculty of thinking and feeling stops, we experience a sense of emptiness. We might feel so anxious even to think about not thinking and not feeling for a second as if our existence might disappear. But let’s face the fact that our thoughts and feelings constantly change. Depending on something that is always changing is what makes us more anxious. We get more anxious to grasp what’s changing and moving. It’s like catch-22. We keep clenching our fist to hold onto what’s already disappearing from moment to moment. When we stop thinking and feeling, we experience, not the absence of our presence but the fullness of our presence in which God reveals. God who is not seen or clouded under our thoughts and feelings shows God’s very own self in the way we’re in union with God. We don’t see God’s face in a way we see each other with our physical eyes but see God with our spiritual eyes. This suspension of our thinking and feeling is the very beginning step to self-emptying. In this mystical experience of self-emptying, we are united with God. This is what St Paul experienced and described in today’s lesson: “Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ…” Without this mystical union with God, we really cannot let go of anything. We can completely let go of things when we know there’s something more worthy and valuable. We can only give our entire selves to God when God is the source of our entire selves. The infamous AA mantra does not leave out the latter part. It’s always, “Let go and let God.” In our context, we let go of ourselves to let God fill ourselves. This Godward direction is the first spiritual route that one takes as one empties oneself. As we let go and let God, God creates space for others to be seen. The second direction is then others-ward. When we’re forgetful of ourselves, we can truly accept others as themselves. For example, we can listen to them, without thinking about how to respond, when they share their stories. Let their words sink into our hearts. Then we respond after fully digesting their intention. Rather than what we think our neighbors need, we ask them and understand their needs. Emptying myself to receive others sounds a bit passive but is the most active way of loving and caring in that it reveals the nature of love that is patient, kind, and not self-seeking. (1 Cor. 13:4-8) This self-emptying is the message of St Paul to us this morning so is that of St Francis of Assisi whose feast day we celebrate. Francis’ act of emptying himself was rather dramatically recorded that he stripped naked as he denounced everything that belonged to his father and himself to follow the way of Jesus. This symbolic gesture of letting go lets God fill his hearts with others. Of course, St Paul is on the same path as Francis as he confesses, ”but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ…” On our Christian journey, we can be where St Paul was pressing on toward as long as we discern our hearts by asking, “Am I full of myself or empty of myself?” After all, kenosis is not really void of any but is filled with loving-kindness and compassion. Kenosis is plerosis (meaning fullness in Greek) in the mystery of Christ. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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