Pentecost+17/Proper 19B (Is 50:4-9a; Ps 116:1-8; Jm 3:1-12; Mk 8:27-38)

Have you ever been embarrassed of someone? Or to relate to what Jesus says in today’s gospel reading, have you ever been “ashamed” of someone? Shame is a powerful, yet destructive human feeling. It is similar but different from guilt. Guilt happens when we feel bad about what we did. Shame is about feeling bad about who we are. You can actually say that shame is psychologically more damaging than guilt. Guilt deals with our human behaviors. Shame is concerned with who we are. So, for example, if I’m ashamed of myself, this means I feel bad about who I am. In this state of feeling ashamed, I don’t like myself. Shame can very well lead to self-hatred. 

Then what’s it like to be ashamed of someone other than myself? Jesus talks about those who are ashamed of him and of his words, calling this generation as adulterous and sinful. Before we go any further, I would like us to reflect on what it’s like to be ashamed of someone other than myself. Our experience of being ashamed of someone is very much related to our experience of being ashamed of myself. The common experience would be that this distaste or dislike of existence. In the case of self-shame, we dislike ourselves, we hate who we are, or we deny our identity and existence. In the case of being ashamed of others, we disapprove their existence, we dislike not only what they do but who they are. This feeling of shame intends to deny and reject whoever it is directed towards. 

Sometimes, we might have a strong feeling of shame towards someone who has done evil. It is quite easy to justify this shame we have towards people like Adolf Hitler or whoever denies human dignity. On the other hand, I would like to pay attention to a more subtle case, like that of Jesus. I would like to give you an example of this subtle instance of shame being directed at someone. I commute from New Jersey to New York. I get off at Port Authority. I’m sure Amy would know this commuter life very well that people don’t walk in New York City. People are half running, especially in subway stations. I think I read somewhere that one of the most annoying things that tourists can do in New York City is stopping in the middle of the street or sidewalk. New Yorkers don’t stop. Walk, walk, walk. Or run, run, run. 

This one morning around 7:30 am, I arrived at Port Authority. I always take stairs to take the subway. This morning, the staircase I always take to the subway station was unusually congested. Traffic in the staircase is quite annoying for commuters who are half-running to be on time at work. I was walking down the stairs. It felt like one step per minute. When I finally got to the end, I realized the cause of this traffic jam. 

It was this person with a disability who was struggling to get down the stairs. Realizing this person’s challenge and difficulty, I felt quite bad that I lacked patience and understanding. Looking at all these angry, impatient commuters behind him, on the other hand, I had this feeling that I didn’t want to be in that person’s shoes. Was I embarrassed of this person? Was I ashamed of this person? I admit I was. I say this because I didn’t want to be in that person’s place. I didn’t want to be that person who is annoying and delaying all these commuters in rush hour. When I stay with this feeling of not wanting to be that person, I tend to stay away from that person if not reject him. What’s quite sinful about this is that I lack compassion toward that person. In that very moment of shame, I in a way deny that person’s existence and refuse to look at his struggle. 

Now back to Jesus. I don’t think anyone of Jesus’ disciples would explicitly express that they are ashamed of Jesus and his words. What it’s like to be ashamed of Jesus or his words may be very much related to this experience of not wanting to be in the place of Jesus or not wanting to be Jesus. Being ashamed of him and his words is really about not willing to go where Jesus is, not willing to take his words to heart. Then we must ask ourselves where Jesus is going and what his words are in today’s gospel lesson this morning. 

Jesus asks his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” and “Who do you think I am?” Peter gets it right. He confesses, “You are the Messiah.” Jesus is the Anointed One of God. He is the Christ. This is who he is. Then this Messiah teaches something that nonsense. Instead of the teaching that would make his disciples and followers proud and powerful, he says he must undergo great suffering, be rejected by religious and civil authorities, and be killed. And he will rise again. What he teaches as the Messiah isn’t something that people want to hear. He then makes it worse and says, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.” 

Let me summarize his words: “I am the Messiah, God’s Anointed. I’m going to suffer greatly. I will be rejected and killed. But I will be risen after three days. Do you want to follow me? Deny your ego to be powerful or to be a god of your own. Forget shaming yourself. Forget self-hatred. But take up your cross as I do. That is you’re going to suffer greatly as I did. You will be rejected and killed. But you will be risen again with me.” 

Do you want to be in the place where Jesus is? Do you want to stand where he stands? Would you like to take his words to your hearts that you don’t disregard his words but live them out? Peter is a great example of what it’s like to be ashamed of Jesus and his words. He is the first one who got the honor of recognizing and confessing who Jesus really is. Yet, he is also the first one to be referred as Satan by Jesus by showing his unwillingness to follow where Jesus goes. Now, if we dig a little deeper into this human dynamics of not wanting to be where Jesus is, we face our own fear and anxiety of losing ourselves as though our existence doesn’t matter at all. Why would anyone want to be where Jesus is when he’s about to suffer and die? Before even getting to the resurrection piece, every single person wants to avoid suffering and death! No one with a right mind would be willing to suffer and join Jesus. 

But for us Christians, it is the way to be who we really are and to live out what we’re called to do. Whether we know or not, the sacrament of baptism is how we enter into where Jesus is, following his footsteps and taking up our cross. You might not have known what your parents have signed you up for if you were baptized as an infant. If you can remember your baptism and it was your choice, that life of Jesus is what you’ve signed up for. And my friends, this is not a bad thing I assure you. This is the good news. This is the gospel. There is no place for shame when we are where Jesus is, when we stand where Jesus stands. 

Christians are in many ways like firefighters. We are called to go where people usually don’t want to go. That’s what Jesus does. As Jesus goes into the fire of sin, hatred, apathy, and resentment, we like him, our divine firefighter go. Be mindful of those who you don’t want to be because of their suffering. Pay attention to your tendency not to want to be that person who is in need. Don’t turn away your face from them but rather ask the Holy Spirit to grant you courage and wisdom to be with that suffering person. Ask the Holy Spirit to grant you the compassion of Jesus. Ask the Holy Spirit to take up the cross. If you feel ashamed of someone, if you feel like never wanting to be that person, listen to the words of God in the Book of Isaiah which, I imagine, strengthened Jesus, especially when he was hung on the cross:

The Lord God has given me
the tongue of a teacher,
that I may know how to sustain
the weary with a word.
Morning by morning he wakens--
wakens my ear 
to listen as those who are taught.
The Lord God has opened my ear,
and I was not rebellious, 
I did not turn backward.
I gave my back to those who struck me,
and my cheeks to those who pulled out the beard;
I did not hide my face
from insult and spitting.
The Lord God helps me;
therefore I have not been disgraced;
therefore I have set my face like flint,
and I know that I shall not be put to shame; 
he who vindicates me is near.
Who will contend with me?
Let us stand up together.
Who are my adversaries?
Let them confront me.
It is the Lord God who helps me;
who will declare me guilty? 
(Is 50:4-9a)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.