Christians are called “Christians” not because of their membership in an organized religion called Christianity. Not even due to one’s baptismal status. What makes Christians Christians is first and foremost their action to follow Jesus of Nazareth out of one’s desire and free will. Baptism is an outward sign, symbol, and means to publicly and personally express this determination and life-long commitment with fellow followers who also witness it and welcome one as their sibling in Christ. We Christians are interconnected through this Spirit-led action to follow Jesus. It’s not by class, race, gender, denomination, or any other labels or identities. Baptism is a personal and communal ritual to enter this connection as the Eucharist completes this communion in Christ. (I’m talking about the fundamental purposes of these two sacraments so that we don’t miss what really matters. Let’s not get caught up in outward things!)
So, Jesus’ message this morning cuts through the core of the gospel: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” In order to follow him, there’s one requirement. Without fulfilling this requirement, one cannot even follow him. Self-denial must come first. One cannot both continue to become who one thinks one is and follow Jesus. If we’re serious about following Jesus, or if we’re considering this path of Jesus, we need to reflect on what it means to deny oneself. Do we even know how to deny ourselves? How do we do that? Self-denial begins with self-reflection. How do we understand ourselves? What is the self? I’ve talked a lot about how we create certain images of ourselves that are not quite accurate. If you disagree with me on this, when was the last time you were kind and compassionate to yourself? If you’re thinking so hard to recall, then here’s an easier question. When was the last time you were mean and harsh to yourself? (When did I call myself an idiot!?) Speaking for myself, about an hour ago I did. This is one of the examples of how we judge ourselves based on self-images we’ve consciously and unconsciously been crafting. This self-judgment or guilt or shame at worst usually comes out of one’s self-image that is so perfect. We may desire to be perfectly perfect but the truth is we’re perfectly imperfect. Whatever self-images we have for ourselves are unreal. This is the self that Jesus asks us to deny. The self that is made of fear, anxiety, insecurity, guilt, shame, pride, or any self-defeating ingredient must be denied. Not only because it is delusional but because it is sickening, toxic, and ungodly to ourselves, God, and others. This created image of self is so addictive. There’s one thought all of us, probably all human beings, have in common: “Me, me, me, me…” I just couldn’t stop thinking about myself! This self-addiction gets in the way to follow Jesus, see others as they are, and encounter God. Think of those who are just looking at one’s smartphone 24/7. We know they’ll miss out on beautiful plants, flowers, sunlight, rainbows, etc. as they’re so focused on their illusional pictures on a rectangular-shaped metal brick. How can we then start practicing this self-denial to better follow Jesus? One example would be how to deal with anger. When we’re so attached to ourselves, we’ll have a hard time stepping back from that fiery anger. We become the ANGER incarnate. There’s no self-denial here but self-dominance. We’re filled with anger that all our rational faculties are used to justify this anger. But there’s a way out. We can contemplate not on anger but on the experience of being angry. Have a long look at our anger. We can write down the word “ANGER” and then “I am angry.” Pay attention to the space between “I am” and “angry.” Expand that space as we imagine to create that space in our minds. Write down “I am angry” expanding the space between “I am” and “angry” line by line. We want to reach the point where we no longer see “I am” and “angry.” Stay there as long as we want. Then, let’s revisit our anger and write down from where we stopped. This time, we want to purify this anger as we close the space between “I am” and “angry.” In the end, we have this pure anger energy to which we’re no longer attached but can utilize it to make a change for the benefit of others. No self-agenda is involved. ANGER I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry I am angry anger The picture above may be what Jesus means by denying oneself, taking up one’s cross, and following him. The only obstacle for us to love others may be ourselves so stuck in our own images, rather than the image of God. Self-denial is self-emptying. This kenotic life is the life of the cross that is freeing and loving. Amen. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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