Pentecost+10/Proper 14A (Matthew 14:22-33)

There’s a religious joke I often share with my colleagues from environmental services at the hospital where I work. This can be a corny joke but my colleagues are kind enough to put a smile on their faces every time I say the same joke. It’s when they mop the floor of the patient room I would like to visit and the floor is still wet. I say, “I’m not Jesus. I can’t walk on the water. I’ll wait until it dries.” My intention, of course, is not to leave my footprints on the clean floor. My colleagues would have to mop it again. 

For this reason, today’s gospel lesson feels very familiar to me personally. I think Peter is much more courageous than me that he’s got guts to ask, “If it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” If I were Peter, I would rather ask, “If it is you, where do I live? Tell me my birthday. What’s my son’s name? Tell me which soccer team I like, and etc.” Well, Peter gets what he asks for. He gets out of the boat and starts walking on the water. He finally comes toward Jesus. At this point, it looks like the only requirement to walk on the water is courage to boldly ask if Jesus can help walk on the water and to get out of the boat. Courage is what gets Peter’s leap of faith started. 

But there’s a problem. As the strong wind blows, Peter panics and sinks. We might say his courage is not strong enough. Jesus even says to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” This doubt is more of Peter’s forgetfulness that Jesus is with him and enables him to walk on the water. Once Peter’s focus is shifted from Jesus to the strong wind and then to himself, his instinct for survival immediately activates. Then comes his fear of death that sinks closer to death. We now can see that Peter’s forgetfulness of Jesus’ presence due to the strong wind, which Jesus calls “doubt,” is his concern for his own life. When he’s only focused on himself, doubt is born and courage disappears. St. Ambrose once said, “Fortitude must not trust itself.” In other words, self-centeredness creates doubt, not just doubt about others but about ourselves. When we are more aware of ourselves than of our oneness with God, we become doubtful of ourselves and others. In this deep oneness with God can we only walk on the water. When Peter’s focus is solely on Jesus, there’s this oneness between them. 

Negligently disconnecting ourselves from God’s union with us by being too concerned with ourselves out of fear and anxiety, (by which we also disconnect ourselves from others) we sink in. This, however, does not mean we should always continue to keep our focus on our union with God all the time. This is unrealistic and impossible. We are human beings who are born to err. In this sense, I’m actually glad that Peter sank. I’m encouraged that Peter is of little faith. I feel relieved he had doubt. Because I would’ve done the same as Peter. Just like Peter, I would be scared of the strong wind blowing at me. Yet, what comforts me more than Peter’s mistake is Jesus. As soon as Peter starts sinking in, he immediately reaches out his hand and catches Peter. For this matter, I have enough faith to be scared of the strong wind because I know God never ceases to reach out to us, to reconnect with us, to hold us from sinking. 

This indeed is the good news. The kingdom of God is always within us. That is, God’s eternal presence is always within us. Jesus’ reaching out his hand to Peter symbolizes we’re in God’s hands. The strong wind is still blowing at us. Up until now, we have been courageously and faithfully walking on the water despite the strong wind as we keep our focus on God’s eternal oneness with us, “God with us Emmanuel.” It’s my fervent prayer for all of us that we continue to do so. But even if we become afraid of a stronger wind of fighting for justice and peace or dealing with personal issues and sink in, may we take that as a grace-filled opportunity to be caught by God’s loving hands and be in the union with God once again and forever more. Amen.