Out of all the interesting and strange characters in the Hebrew Bible and Christian Bible, Lazarus definitely stands out. He died twice physically. He’s not the only one who came back to life and died again. Elijah brought back the son of the widow of Zarephath to life so did Peter to Tabitha. What stands out in Lazarus’s case is all the death threats he probably received after being brought back to life. He may have been questioned whether he faked his death or not. The local religious leaders in his time may have considered him as a part of Jesus’s conspiracy project.
In today’s gospel story, one thing we need to clarify is that Lazarus was resuscitated, not yet resurrected. Jesus’s miracle of resuscitating Lazarus seems impossible, especially considering he had been dead for at least two to four days. What I would like to reflect on in this gospel account is not so much about how that was possible or what a great wonder maker or miracle performer Jesus was. We don’t have any answer to these questions of whether it was scientifically possible. We simply don’t know. I would rather like us to imagine the life of Lazarus after being brought back to life from death. How would he have lived his life afterward? Did he have any fear of dying again? Did he have any sort of life after death experience? Did he see the light when he was dead? We don’t know for sure but there are various traditions about what happened to him after his resuscitation. (I will provide you with a separate material for this.) This spiritual imagination mainly revolves around the topic of death. Which is why it's crucial for us to ponder upon this subject matter during this coronavirus crisis we’re going through. I don’t have to trigger anything in us to imagine our anxiety or fear since we’re already surrounded by something that creates anxiety and fear of death. This is real. I would never undermine its serious nature and danger the virus can cause. In the meantime, I find it crucial to tease out a difference between anxiety and fear at this point. The more we articulate our feelings, the more our mind becomes clear. While there are many psychological and neuroscientific ways to distinguish these two, there’s a simple way. Fear has a target whereas anxiety doesn’t. When our own death becomes our main concern, we might have fear. Yet, our thought of how we will die chips in, anxiety is produced. Our negative prediction of what ifs creates anxiety. I’m not a psychologist as you know, but as a trained professional chaplain and a priest in the Christian tradition, I see we are spiritually suffering from both anxiety and fear of death. The serious harm that the coronavirus can give to us is death. And this seriousness very well triggers all kinds of negative thoughts in us for survival. For me as a hospital chaplain, I’m quite literally surrounded by it! Today’s gospel story, however, challenges us to contemplatively pause and prayerfully reflect on our current condition. Two things to check: 1) fear and 2) anxiety. Our fear in this crisis has a target, which is death. It actually pushes us to do whatever it takes to survive. Continue to wash our hands and practice physical distancing. While we have this benefit of legitimate fear which prompts us to keep ourselves safe, let us be mindful that this fear must be transformed into love. This transformed fear, which we call love, seeks to benefit others for their survival and safety. I’ve mentioned before that the opposite of fear is not hate but love. In the gospel story today, Jesus was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved when he saw Lazarus’s friends weeping for his death. This love he had for Lazarus compelled him to go visit him despite his own fear that he would be stoned to death by the religious authorities. See that fear of death in you. Do what’s necessary for your survival. But don’t stop there. Transform it to love. That’s how we make good out of everything. This is how we are detached from fear and truly become free of it. The other thing from which we suffer greatly is anxiety. Anxiety comes from three places: a) Physical sensation, b) negative thoughts/predictions, and c) standing at the edge of the unknown. During this time, b) may be the most common factor that creates anxiety. Ask what you’re telling yourself in this crisis. What is your inner voice telling you? I heard from some doctor that his patient who was tested positive for the virus bursted in tears and said, “Am I going to die?” I think we can certainly resonate with this patient’s narrative that “If you have it, you will die.” This is not factual though there’s a possibility, which I would not deny. Yet, the problem is what this thought does to us whenever that thought gets into our mind. We might panic and paralyze our logical way of thinking, living in the future that we do not know and are not in control of. We might not even recognize that we’re already telling this narrative unconsciously because it can be too daunting to talk about. But if you’re somehow panicking (or spiritually hyperventilating!), you might be in that narrative without knowing you’re locked in there. I’m not going to say not to be anxious but I would rather encourage you to be realistic and present in the moment of here and now. Being logically realistic and spiritually present in the moment is another form of courage because this act requires us to accept our reality as it is. As a healthcare worker and a cancer survivor, I can only share how I personally practice this spiritual exercise of being present and realistic. This has been working for me which is why I can go back to work everyday. (You might be disappointed that I won’t talk about a method of praying away anxiety!) While I was going through my cancer treatments, I was also visiting patients. I was immune-compromised, and of course, I was very careful not to see anyone who could give me something with my doctor’s guidance! So, this is my practical spiritual exercise: Do what’s necessary to protect yourself and others. (e.g. wash your hands, practice physical distancing, & avoid a large gathering) Never act out of anxiety but be realistic and present right here and right now. (e.g. no hoarding of items, we’re not in apocalyptic movies.) Check yourself if you have mild or severe symptoms. If severe, check with your doctor and go to the ER. We do our best and its result is not up to us. Let go of the control in the eternal hope of the resurrection. Jesus was not just on his way to bring back Lazarus to life. He was also on his way to the cross. He was realistic, perhaps too realistic that he talked about his death to his friends numerous times. Yet, he still went on. In the miracle of Lazarus, we see the glimpse of the resurrection, in which we find our hope, trust, courage, and love of God. Our hands and feet might be bound with strips of fear, and our faces wrapped in a cloth of anxiety. Jesus looks at us and tells us today, “I unbind you and let you go.” Now, he tells us who are no longer bound with fear and wrapped in anxiety, “Unbind others, and let them go!” How do you unbind others? Show your kindness and compassion to others. Share what you have with them. Pray for them. Protect them and shield them. And Love! In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. AMEN. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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