Lent 4C (Luke 15:1-3, 11b-32)

​How do we respond or react to others’ happiness? Do we wholeheartedly celebrate together or do we feel quite unhappy as if their happiness was supposed to be or could’ve been mine? This complex feeling can be termed envy which is defined as “the feeling that you wish you had something that someone else has” according to Cambridge Dictionary. It’s similar to jealousy in that it admires what someone has but is much more aggressive in the sense that I would like to take that away from that person. Jealousy allows co-sharing whereas envy aims for monopoly. 

Similar to envy is schadenfreude in German or joie maligne in French or malicious or harmful joy in English that one finds pleasure at others’ misfortune or suffering. Just like envy, I don’t think I need to explain what schadenfreude is like since we probably know what it is. We may see our close friends going on a trip to a place where we cannot afford to join. We see their pictures posted on Facebook and discover the weather was either cloudy or rainy. Yes, this feeling of a small victory or a quick win (for nothing)!

Envy makes us a predator while schadenfreude a spectator. In both cases, what’s missing is empathy that pushes one to get out of oneself and to reach out to others. In the parable of the prodigal father, we see envy and schadenfreude coming altogether. The older brother and the younger one seemed to give each other punches of envy and schadenfreude. It’s easy to see the older brother’s envy because of his dialogue with his father. But before he reached the point of envy developed into resentment, imagine how he would’ve felt to see his older brother. A bit of joie maligne! 

Does this mean the younger brother is innocent? The younger brother was able to freely leave home without having to worry about his father because of his older brother. He might have thought his older brother would take care of things at home as well as all his duties. In a way, he ended up dumping all his work to his older brother. Let’s keep in mind that the older brother after all had always been responsible. Who knows whether the younger brother enjoyed schadenfreude, secretly telling himself, “Oh my poor brother, not enjoying his life!” or “I choose to enjoy every single thing in life unlike my father and my brother.” Is he then free of envy? Let’s wait and see until he doesn’t get anything from his father but his older brother takes it all! 

While these brothers are entangled in their flaws of envy and schadenfreude that they share in common, they don’t and can’t see what kind of person their father truly is. The prodigal father may be considered as a parent too naive or unrealistic or conflict-avoidant so that he gives away the younger son the share of his properties too easily. Perhaps he trusted his younger son too much. Regardless of how we evaluate his parental style, he treats his younger son as an adult who is in charge of his life. See him as the person he is now rather than as his baby boy. This is a risk-taking action, and there was a consequence of financial loss for this. 

It’s interesting to observe that the older son always feels like a slave before his father while the younger son who returns home decides to be a slave to his father. Both of the sons may share this slave mentality while they have never been a slave to their father. In this mental and spiritual state, one is locked up and limited to a place where there’s no agency. No true happiness is available, not because it really isn’t but because one looks for happiness outside oneself, elsewhere, rather than deep inside. It’s like looking for an orange in an apple orchard. The truth is, my inner happiness doesn’t conflict with others. Others’ inner happiness does not lessen mine either. 

We can first cultivate this view of inner happiness by changing the way we understand true happiness. Just as the kingdom of God is from within, joy comes from within. Wealth or fame can surely make us happy but doesn’t last long. We feel the urge to keep fueling its craving to maintain. Look inwardly instead. You don’t need anything but yourself, your presence, your breath for the true happiness God provides. Contemplation is simply a tool to have that experience where we let the Eternal Spirit flow through our being. Once our desire for happiness as well as our attempt to seek it outside is replaced with our inner happiness, we can then genuinely see others in the eyes of compassion, since there’s nothing deficit in our lives, and we can act on what the prodigal father says: “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.” We can finally look at life itself in everyone, that precious life breathed from the Spirit with empathy and compassion. 

The way of Jesus calls us to examine all the values we uncritically take for granted. If I perceive myself as a slave or internalize myself as a victim, no joy is available but false humility is forced upon us. The way of Jesus sets us happily free and freely loving to others, intending their inner happiness in Christ. This is the joy that may have been lost but is to be found anew during this season of Lent. With this joy, we can be the “fellow who welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Amen.