O Lord and Master of my life!
Take from me the spirit of sloth, faint-heartedness, lust of power, and idle talk. But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant. Yeah, O Lord and King! Grant me to see my own errors and not to judge my brother; For Thou art blessed unto ages of ages. Amen. (St. Ephrem the Syrian) Denial. One of the most common words that are used in the hospital setting would be ‘denial.’ You can imagine situations like receiving a new diagnosis of illnesses, test results, or unexpected loss of a loved one. These situations first shock people and can very well push them to be in denial. The rhetoric of denial can be found everywhere, even in your refrigerator. How many of you heard of the butter spread product, “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”? Whoever is selling it wants consumers to believe that whatever they’re tasting is too buttery not to be butter. Denial is a psychological defense that we all have and use time to time. We use this defense mechanism to reduce anxiety or avoid fear of something that we don’t want to find disturbing. There are some painful realities that are too hard to bear with. It is natural and quite helpful to be in denial as long as we can get out of it and face reality. Otherwise, it becomes problematic if we continue to remain in that state of denial. The reality will eventually arrive and will always shatter our delusion. Simon Peter is considered the leader of Jesus’ twelve disciples for many reasons. He is always a person in action. He doesn’t hold back. He’s direct, active, and pioneering among the disciples. He may also be considered as the leading figure of all the actions of denial among the disciples or the icon of denial in the gospels. This is not to say that he’s more anxious than the other disciples. Considering his role as the first among equals, Peter in a way represents a general attitude of denial among the disciples. Let’s look at Peter’s several incidents of denial. Jesus foretells his disciples that they will all scatter after his arrest. Peter rejects this claim. He says to Jesus, “Even though all become dusters, I will not.” Jesus then responds to him, “Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.” Not even once, but three times in one day. This is a harsh statement of Jesus. Peter would feel quite upset about Jesus’ evaluation of him. He might think inside, ‘I have followed you all along. I have left my family, my home, my job, and everything. This isn’t enough for you to trust my loyalty?” Peter says vehently, ‘Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.” All the other disciples say the same thing as Peter. We all know what happens after Jesus’ arrest. None of the disciples follow Jesus and die with him. Peter in particular denies Jesus three times, saying, “I do not know the man.” (Mark 14.68, 70, 71) It’s clear that he’s not ready to die with Jesus. He may have never been prepared to die with Jesus from the very beginning. He cannot die with him. At least not yet at this point, not before witnessing to the resurrection of Jesus, not before he encounters the risen Christ with his own eyes. In today’s gospel reading, Peter, the icon of denial, is again in denial. This means all the other eleven disciples are in denial like Peter. In this same chapter of St. Mark’s gospel, Jesus teaches his disciples about his death and resurrection three times. The lesson we heard today is the first time Jesus teaches about his death and resurrection. Peter and other disciples are in complete denial. Let’s look at Peter’s behavior. He takes Jesus aside and begins to rebuke him. This is a provocative picture that we’re given here to reflect. Not only does Peter the disciple rebuke Jesus the teacher for what’s about to take place but also Peter who confesses Jesus as the Messiah criticizes Jesus’ teaching and denies his calling. Peter does not and cannot accept Jesus’ death. He is anxious and afraid to face the death of the One whom he considers as the Messiah. How can his Messiah die as a criminal on the cross? That is just absurd, unacceptable, and even insulting. And especially the part that Jesus talks about resurrection is simply delusional, unrealistic, and embarrassing. What is Jesus really thinking? Is he out of his mind? Peter might be quite compelled to coach or teach the Messiah on how to behave himself as the ‘ideal’ messiah for the world. The disciples likewise are in the same boat of Peter. They want to hear nothing about this death and resurrection nonsense. They deny Jesus’ ultimate reason why God became human. When Jesus teaches them this same message for the second time, they do not understand it and afraid to ask him what he’s really talking about. Anxiety blocks their brain to process. Fear discourages their understanding of the paschal mystery. When Jesus teaches them this for the third time, there’s not even a single word on how the disciples react to it. It’s almost like Jesus’ teaching being ignored and unheard by the disciples as if they’re in complete denial. This type of denial only creates anxiety and fear. Once the disciples are locked up in this denial mode, they’re not able to see something beyond Jesus’ suffering and death. Death ends everything they can achieve. There’s no future. There’s no glory. There’s no freedom. There’s no hope. Only enslavement, despair, hopelessness, or darkness awaits for them. This is the world of functional atheists. No God can save them, but themselves. Peter and the disciples become blind to see the risen and transfigured Jesus in the crucified Jesus. They only see death, not resurrection. Their eyes are set on human things, not on divine things. The world in which we live is in this type of denial that elevates levels of anxiety, fear, and hatred and prevents people from hoping, dreaming, praying, and sensing the presence of God. Part of the world, especially our country and our church somehow is in denial. Instead of looking beyond what they’re afraid to face, they become deniers and refuse to believe what’s true. To name a few, we see deniers who believe that availability of guns has nothing to do with gun violence, that immigrants are a threat to our society, or that there’s no such thing global warming. When we’re in this evident denial, only fear, anxiety, distrust, and hatred arise. To this world in denial, Jesus rebukes and says, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Rather placing ourselves in denial, we deny ourselves to save our own lives. We take up our cross and follow Jesus. We tell part of ourselves that constantly seeks to be in denial out of fear and anxiety, we utter the words of Jesus, “Get behind me, Satan!” We go beyond this state of denial. We look to Jesus’ death AND resurrection. Christians are realistic in that we never turn our face away from the reality and idealistic in that we always turn to the hope of the resurrection in that reality. If we just pay attention to death, we’re easily tempted to be in denial of God’s presence in suffering. Yet, we can resist it by contemplating Jesus’ cry on the cross, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ and his resurrection. Jesus’ cry on the cross is God entering into the very core of human misery, suffering, and despair. In our second lesson, Abraham continues to trust in God’s promise despite his old age and his wife, Sarah’s barrenness. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is also a great example of looking at both death and resurrection. In his famous speech, he says, “I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.” Without first looking at low valleys, high hills and mountains, and rough places, he can never hope to see every valley exalted, every hill and mountain made low, and the rough places made straight. Without first looking at Jesus’ death, no glory of God be expected, revealed, and seen. As we’re entering the second week of Lent, let’s remind ourselves that Lent is the season of softening and opening our hearts to God in which we find our hearts deeply longing for our oneness or Communion with God. I ask all of us to see what we deny out of fear and anxiety. And rather than judging ourselves guilty or ashamed for being in some kind of delusional denial, let’s focus ourselves on Jesus’ death and resurrection. Let’s draw nearer and nearer at the foot of the cross not just to see death but also the resurrection. Let’s seek the face of the risen and transfigured Jesus in the crucified One. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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