As we’re pondering on the gospel lesson this morning, it’s quite easy to fall into the following interpretation, and I guess you’ve heard of something along those lines in the past: “Showing the miracle of filling the boats with fish, Jesus calls professional fishers to become fishers of people. They will no longer catch fish but people if they follow him. We too are called to catch people, to transform ourselves to become the fishers of people like Simon, James, and John. The gospel is bait to catch people, and we are God-sent fishers.”
This interpretation can be attractive in that it packages itself as a radical career change opportunity that may guarantee them honor and respect from people. But it is way too simplistic and can lead one to proselytization. There’s a difference between evangelization and proselytization. Evangelization is how we embody and live out the teachings of Jesus for all regardless of their backgrounds without any self-serving intention whereas proselytization finds its sole goal to convert people into the Christian faith. The former builds up a community of mutual respect and love while the former creates a social club of who is in and out. Rather than pushing ourselves to be fishers of people, let’s flip the side and ask ourselves a fundamental question: Are we the ones caught by Jesus? Are we the fish in the net of Jesus? (I’m not talking about fish to be sold and eaten but to be the Eucharistic food that feeds others in need.) This new way of reading the lesson isn’t far-reaching since Simon, James, and John too are captured in the net of Jesus as they witness the miracle of catching countless fish. If we’re caught in the net of grace, how do we know that? What if we don’t even know whether we’re caught in the net or not? I believe we all have this experience of being held by something or someone when we feel like falling into the bottomless pit of despair. I remember the moment when I was going through treatments. At that time, I couldn't help myself stand up or walk, experiencing a total loss of control over my body. I remember the moment that I felt hopeless when I was not needed by anyone for anything. What about those moments of yours you felt a sense of hopelessness as if there’s no way out but a dark tunnel in which you look for light or something to hold onto? In this experience, we feel isolation, loneliness, or abandonment. But this is not the end. In isolation, we can see more clearly that one hand that reaches out to us. Only in darkness, does light reveal itself. However we describe this experience of being held or caught in the net of grace, there’s a common theme of hope. This is the hope that can spread to others in despair. I’m reminded of the Scottish blessing I love, which begins, “May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that strangers and friends may come and warm themselves at it…” While we remember the light without and light within from our experience of being caught in the net, I would like us to reflect deeper. I would like us to revisit the experience of hopelessness right before being held. It’s that moment of falling endlessly. This is when we truly see who we are. All the images and masks, the sense of who we are, who we create ourselves to become, are completely stripped away. That physically strong, smart, self-reliant image I’ve projected onto myself no longer exists when health, security of employment, social networks are gone. What’s left is what we truly are. This can be daunting but truthful. What’s left after all is not a better sense of who we are, but the net of grace itself. This is the nature of the resurrection of Christ. Through the death of who we used to be and who we desire to become, we’re resurrected, not with a better version of self, but with Christ. From this place of Christ, we can better craft who we can be. We have a clearer sense of who we used to be and can be and use it for the better. If I know what I’m privileged with, be it gender, race, class, education, etc., how can I use it to empower those without it? This is more of a practical side. You might wonder how we can continue to deepen this sense of being caught in the net. You can imagine what answer I would give to you. Yes, it is through contemplation that we put into our daily practice. You sit quietly with yourself, face yourself, alone, before and within God. Fall into that deep dazzling darkness and get hooked in the net of love. Do it until you enjoy that graceful ride. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar would say, “Fall upward!” |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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