We have our own image of who we are in our minds. We may want to name this ‘self’ or ‘ego.’ We carry this constructed and oftentimes fixated image everywhere we go. We put who we think we are before everyone we encounter. Whether this fabricated image of ourselves is correct or not does not really matter because as long as it’s there, we are still occupied with ourselves. This may be where the term egocentric or self-centered comes in. Our goal is to disenchant or deconstruct false images of who we are in light of our baptismal covenant in which we’re one with God in Christ. I imagine we have a barrier or a bar of this constructed and often inaccurate self-image between us and others. When this bar is too high, we cannot allow others to come into our hearts. We become close-minded. Perhaps the goal of our spiritual practice is to lower this bar so that we are always open to others, not letting ourselves get in the way of love for others. This is what compassion would look like.
When Jesus tells us to take up the cross, he talks about what he himself is going to do. He’s carrying the cross that he himself will be hung. It’s his own cross. So, when he invites us to carry the cross, we’re dealing with our own cross for ourselves. We don’t carry it to hang others on it. We don’t carry the cross of Jesus of Nazareth. The cross that I carry is for me. It is my cross on which my “fabricated” self or ego is to be hung. This cross that we take up is a powerful symbol for Christians. We carry our own cross to hang our constructed and fixated image of ourselves that stops us to be more open, inclusive, and compassionate to others. When this false image of who we are is hung and buried, there’s nothing or no self to get in our way of love for others. The empty tomb is the symbol of love that the resurrected Christ manifests. The emptiness of the empty tomb is the divine openness that goes beyond any boundaries to heal, to love, and to serve. It becomes the gate of new life in Christ, not of death. The empty tomb is the divine womb for the resurrected life. As we read the gospel account of the empty tomb this Easter Sunday morning, the resurrected Christ is no longer locked up in the old self. Since nothing is getting in the way of compassion, he is already on the move to his neighbors. He is going ahead of us to Galilee where people suffer. In order to see the empty cross, our action of taking up our own cross must take place first. What are the images that we project onto ourselves? Recall all those memories when we kept thinking of ourselves, our words and deeds before others, especially those in power, asking “Did I do a good job? I should’ve said this more professionally. I should’ve worn a different cloth, etc.” When this self-doubting talk takes place, we create hell in our heads. We become so self-conscious, which is the state that this self prevents us from openly engaging with the reality. There’s no freedom but judgment and punishment for not being perfect. We raise our expectations for ourselves to become a god from a mere human being. This is a form of idolatry, which confuses us with humility. On the other hand, there are some images to which we are so attached that we can’t even think about getting rid of them. There’s nothing that makes me myself. Constantly, even right now as you’re reading this reflection, we’re changing biologically. We’re impermanent and ever-changing. When we try to cling to something that continues to change, we become fixated and rigid. This kind of habit of defining who we are or putting ourselves in a box creates a division between me and the world or others. If the world of which I’m part keeps changing, I too change. The only state that we experience something eternal is in God with whom we’re united. The Alcoholic Anonymous’ famous mantra, “Let go, let God” from our Christian perspective is to let go of our old selves, and let God consume the entire being that we’re set free from ourselves. In other words, it is to take up our own cross for our self-image to be hung and to be resurrected in the empty tomb. There’s no one but one with God. Let’s take up the cross every day to be born anew in the divine womb. Amen. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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