Easter 6B (John 15:9-17)

​In the Christian tradition, love stands as the paramount concept, a truth underscored by Jesus in today's Gospel lesson: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:12) The latter part of his teaching, which seemingly defines true love as sacrificing one's life for others, poses a significant challenge. Does this imply a literal sacrifice of life for another? This notion raises troubling questions. One method to contemplate this literal interpretation of Jesus' teaching on love is through a hypothetical scenario.

Imagine someone sacrificing their life for you, allowing you to live. This act is undeniably heroic, yet it prompts complex emotions. Would you feel gratitude, obligation, or overwhelmed by guilt? Now, consider this twist: What if the person who sacrificed themselves was someone you deeply despised, someone who had wronged or hurt you profoundly? How would their sacrifice affect your perception of them?

However, dwelling solely on these questions derived from a hypothetical scenario risks missing the essence of Jesus' teaching on love. It presupposes that giving up one's life in a literal sense epitomizes love, neglecting other potential expressions. This approach, which I term "literalistically," disregards metaphorical or symbolic meanings, emphasizing a strict adherence to surface-level interpretations. Such rigidity limits our understanding of love, closing off avenues to life-affirming expressions of it.

So, how else can we lay down our lives for others? By relinquishing our perceptions of them. Our views of others too often reflect our own biases and limited experiences, shaping them into caricatures of who we think they are. This approach risks loving an idealized image rather than the true individual. Who they are is boxed in our perception. So, we say, “I know who he is. I know what he’s going to do. He’s just like that…” This way, we end up loving (or liking, disliking, hating) our one-sided perception of who they are, not necessarily loving them as they are. We think we love them but only love the image of who they are that we ourselves fabricate.

Philosopher Slavoj Žižek comments on this: “All too often, when we love somebody, we don't accept him or her as what the person effectively is. We accept him or her insofar as this person fits the coordinates of our fantasy. We misidentify him or her – which is why, when we discover that we were wrong, love can quickly turn into violence.”

Alternatively, perceiving others as they truly are demands humility, curiosity, and respect. Though we can never fully comprehend their inner selves, approaching them with openness and a willingness to challenge our preconceptions is an act of self-sacrifice akin to laying down one's life. It requires acknowledging the fallibility of our perceptions and embracing the mantra, "I can be wrong about them."

To truly love as Jesus commands, we must embark on the self-sacrificial journey of relinquishing our preconceived notions of others. Mere discussion of this concept falls short; words alone cannot encompass the depth of this transformative process. Excessive discourse may deceive us into believing we have mastered the art of loving without ever putting it into practice. This is my concern regarding mere rhetoric. Therefore, my aim in sharing this reflection is to inspire action, urging us all to actively engage in the practice of love.

The foundation of learning to love as Jesus loves lies in prayer. This prayer is not focused on the individuals we aim to love, but rather on stilling our minds to discern the fabricated images we hold of them and the value judgments upon which these images are based. Below is a suggested template for practicing this introspective prayer, adaptable to individual circumstances:

1. Find a quiet corner and sit comfortably with a straight back.
   
2. Check your breath in and out, making sure your breath feels comfortable. 
   
3. Take about 3 minutes (or longer if you would like) to focus and remain with your breath. 
   
4. Contemplate someone you love (or someone you struggle to love, though this may require more effort). 
   
5. Reflect on the qualities you admire in this person. 
   
6. Recognize that these qualities contribute to an idealized image you have fabricated.
   
7. Acknowledge the disparity between “what that person ought to be” based on your perception and “what that person is” that you do not yet know. 
   
8. Visualize a gap between your perception of them and their true essence.
   
9. Embrace this gap as a symbol of humility, respect, and curiosity, guiding you toward a genuine love for them. 
   
10. Remain there. 
    

Can you share how this practice transforms our perception and expression of love towards others?