Easter 2C (John 20:19-31)

St. John’s post-resurrection account we reflect on this morning wouldn’t qualify as a happily ever after story. None of Jesus’ friends seem to be excited about Mary Magdalene’s good news in which she proclaims, “I have seen the Lord.” (John 20:18) Instead, fear dominates and paralyzes them. They lock themselves up and hide from the local authorities. They’re afraid of being accused of body-snatching as if they intend to make Jesus’ resurrection real by removing the evidence of death from his tomb. This negative depiction of St. John’s post-resurrection scene doesn’t just end here. There’s more. It adds one more human psychological aspect that is as negative as fear: doubt. Thomas symbolizes doubt that every rational person would have in regard to the verifiability of the resurrection. With no physical evidence, there’s no justifiable reason to believe its existence.

So, in today’s lesson, we have a combination of fear and doubt as psychological and spiritual results of the resurrection. It’s neither hope nor courage nor faith. These realistic reactions of Jesus’ friends, however, can make the resurrection trustworthy. There’s no sugar coating. As much as we (?!) or people, in general, have certainty with the resurrection, though how we understand it matters and varies, St. John this morning exposes Jesus’ friends’ struggle to make sense of it. This allows us to freely fear and doubt just like them. It is perfectly okay and even scriptural in a literal sense to have fear and doubt about the resurrection.

But keep in mind that this interpretation is not to indulge ourselves. We can have fear and doubt which can also be intensified to the point where we end up becoming disappointed unbelievers and nihilistic naturalists. What we want to do here Instead is to make them useful. We use them. Fear and doubt can become our emotional raw materials to transform them into peace and freedom with the help of the Holy Spirit breathing into us. Rather than fear and doubt incapacitating us from living freely, lovingly, and courageously, we perceive and reframe them as motivating factors to seek peace and freedom. 

The very first word of the risen Christ is peace. His first greeting to his friends is to let peace be present with them, which may show the particular context in which he encounters them. We might just consider Jesus’ saying of peace as a greeting but suppose his friends simply take the words of Mary Magdalene at face value and rejoice, he would’ve said, not peace, but “Calm down, folks.” We can ponder on Jesus’ saying of peace seriously whenever fear either seeps or rushes into our hearts. How we can cultivate peace in our lives is simple. We sit in silence anywhere, anytime. 

We can contemplate with our own breaths as we reflect on the gospel lesson. The disciples’ fear motivates Jesus to share his peace with them. This is when we become aware of our own fear. This fear has no power over us. It is a realistic aspect of life that is open and thus unpredictable. Radically welcome fear as a motivating guest for peace. (Whenever fear visits our mind, we serve our guests with a cup of lovely peace tea!) In contemplation, receive the peace of the risen Christ as you breathe in. That breath of yours that enters through your nostrils to your lungs and then deep down to your navel is the peace of the resurrection settling in, physically sensing and locating the “peace being within you” as you gently visit all the parts of the whole body. Imagine and feel how that breath is energizing you. This is how we learn to receive the Holy Spirit, the Breath of God. 

As you breathe out, share your joy of inner peace with the world. This is the same joy when Jesus comes and stands among the disciples. This is the joy of the resurrection. Peace comes in and joy comes out. With our own breath, we embody the peace and joy of the risen Christ. When we’re filled with peace and joy, fear is gently treated with love rather than self-rebuke for not having enough courage. This spiritual practice bears the fruit of forgiveness, which is a radical act of setting ourselves free from being a victim of all the wrongs done to us. A toxic chain of resentment stops with us. We can prevent our anger from turning into a narrative of outrage in which I’m a victim and others and the world (perhaps God) are always responsible for it. We can instead use that anger as a source of healthy energy that prompts an act of change that keeps everyone accountable. 

Doubt, nonetheless, will come. This doubt, like fear, can be useful as a motivating factor for us to return to our contemplative practice. Whenever doubt visits our minds, we serve our guests a full course meal of peace, joy, and freedom. We repeat our contemplative practice, which is another name for consistency. 

Do you still have fear and doubt, not only about the resurrection but also about life itself? “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” (John 14:27) Take it in. See joy happens. Experience yourself set free. This is the life of the resurrection to which we’re invited. Amen.