Easter 2A(Acts 2:14a, 22-32; Psalm 16; 1 Peter 1:3-9; John 20:19-31)

Phobos is the god of fear and panic in Greek mythology. There’s a historical record that says Alexander the Great offered sacrifices to Phobos to win his battle. And there’s another legend that Heracles carried the shield that has the face of Phobos. Phobos then becomes the root word for phobia.

In today’s gospel reading, we see the disciples being captured by Phobos, the god of fear. The doors of the house where they were meeting were locked. Why? Because of their fear of Jews. They locked themselves out of fear. Phobos took control of their minds. They were probably afraid that the local authorities might accuse and arrest them for concealment of a human corpse, taking and hiding the body of Jesus their Master out of the tomb. They might have been in total terror and panic.

At the same time, it is quite disappointing to see how they were behaving. Mary Magdalene had just told them, “I have seen the Lord!” What were they thinking? Is it too much for us to imagine that they were thinking she was being delirious or even psychotic? Perhaps they had to gather to discuss how to help this poor lady, Mary Magdalene who seemed to suffer greatly from loss and grief. Perhaps they were discussing to which psychiatrist they should refer her. Or they were talking about how not to avoid potential charges that could be guilty of because of the empty tomb. We can speculate all other possible motives for their meeting. But one thing we are sure is that they were scared.

Fear controls their movement and behavior. Fear paralyzes their reasoning. Fear disables their resilience. Fear erases their memory. Fear vanishes what Jesus had promised them. Fear prevents the disciples from the hope of the resurrection. Fear locks and closes their hearts. Fear isolates ourselves from others. Fear also alienates others from ourselves. After all, fear weakens their faith in God.

This nature of fear that the disciples were experiencing is what we also experience. Fear of losing our jobs, houses, health and loved ones… Fear of war, famine, poverty and global warming… Fear of violence and discrimination… It seems the world is filled with fear rather than love.

The fruit of fear is hatred. We dislike what we fear. We hate what we fear. What we hate, we want to get rid of, we want to destroy. Fear always leads to hatred, and hatred always leads to violence. And violence leads to the destruction of self and others.
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In this midst of fear, however, comes and stands our risen Lord Jesus Christ. Not in a cozy, comfortable and peaceful place, but right in the center of the disciples’ fear he appears. Then he greets them, “Peace be with you.” In the midst of terror and fear, he is not just saying peace, but is making peace. He’s not a peace-sayer, but a peacemaker in the place filled with fear, hatred, and violence.

The disciples don’t recognize Jesus right away. They only acknowledge him after he shows them his hands and his side. Only after looking at the wounds of Jesus, they know it is Jesus, the risen Lord. The wounds of Jesus unlock their heart full of fear, and fear disappears.

Then I want us to think about what we are afraid of in our lives? What kind of fear locks us into? From what are we hiding? Naming our fear is the first step to finding ourselves behind the locked doors of the house with the terrified disciples. Then we will hear the voice of Jesus who greets us, “Peace be with you.” Yet, our fear will not disappear right away until we see the wounds of Jesus. The wounds are the mark of the resurrection. They are the sign of our courage and resilience to face our own fear. Jesus’ resurrection is never a magic that simply takes away our fear. Jesus’ resurrection, especially the wounds of Jesus which are healed, breathes the new spirit into our hearts to encounter our own fear as well as others with trust in God who raises the dead.

Looking at his wounds, we see Jesus standing in the midst of what we most fear. Looking at the wounds of Jesus in facing our own fear, we know we might be wounded, yet ever healed! This Jesus, we fall in love with. No one else. That love we receive takes away fear we have. Why do or/and how can we love Jesus when we have not seen him in person? Because we have seen his brokenness, his wounds in our broken lives. Because his brokenness has brought the divine healing to our brokenness. Because in his wounded and broken body and innocent blood we are resurrected with him through our baptism. Because we eat his broken body and drink his saving blood in the Eucharist. And most importantly, because Jesus loved us first.

I’d like to conclude my homily with St. Bernard of Clairvoux’ poem. I’m going to repeat twice. And it is my prayer that we love Jesus more and more as we experience his love every moment.

To shame our sins He blushed in blood;
He closed His eyes to show us God;
Let all the world fall down and know
That none but God such love can show

​Amen.