There’s one topic that we generally don’t like to talk about in our culture. We either avoid it or consider it taboo. The more we love each other, the harder we find it to talk about. What would that be? It’s death. It’s about facing our own and our loved ones’ mortality. Though it’s such a depressing topic to discuss, the Christian tradition has always focused on death to see Jesus on the cross and beyond. Whether Christians would shy away from it or not, death is the only ticket to the mystery of the resurrection whereas crucifixion directs us what kind of death we would like to have. (i.e. If we die, is it for ourselves only or others? This is to ask if we live our lives for ourselves only or for others as well.)
I recently attended an event called “Death over Dinner” at the hospital where I work. This event invites participants to talk about death. The questions that they’re expected to ponder are: “Share about a death you encountered that had a profound impact on your life. Did it change the way you think or talk about death? How else did it impact you? How would you want your final days to look? Who is around you? What would you eat? If you died suddenly, would your loved ones know what to do?” These are difficult questions to answer. How would you respond to these questions? If I may share with you my answer to the question of “What would you eat?” it’s a deep-fried Oreo! Now, let’s look at our first lesson. The author in the Book of Wisdom talks about death by starting with an interesting statement, “God did not make death, and he does not delight in the death of the living.” Some of us might react to this huge theological statement, asking “Then who made death?” At first, I thought this author’s statement was misleading. Didn’t the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit say otherwise? I went back to Genesis 3:17-19, which I’m sharing here with you: “Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil, you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face, you shall eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; you are dust, and to dust, you shall return.” The key here is that the ground, not us, is cursed in the sense that requires our labor to bear fruits. Biological death is never God’s final verdict. That we are dust and to dust, we shall return is the nature of life. Our human (adam in Hebrew) nature associated with dust (adamah in Hebrew) metaphorically depicts how we come to exist. Death is something that we as mortal beings are to accept. Everything alive is always in action. It always changes. Death is a part of that change. As much as we don’t know how we come to be before birth, we don’t know how we come to be after death. Between birth and death, we’re living and dying in both biological and spiritual senses. While biological death is a part of life, the author in the first lesson seems to be more onto an existential death. This is complete isolation from self, others, and God. Biological death does not separate us from our loved ones and God in a spiritual sense but this existential death does. So the author writes, “...through the devil’s envy death entered the world, and those who belong to his company experience it.” What triggers this existential death or spiritual isolation is envy. Envy and jealousy are alike but not the same. Jealousy is about wanting something that someone has without having to take it away from that person. Envy, on the other hand, is about wanting something that someone has by taking it away from that person. Jealousy has a sense of admiration whereas envy has none but a self-centered motif. Envy may be understood as a combination of one’s experience with both greed and rage. The fruit of envy is an inner and outer division. In this state of envy, my neighbor becomes my enemy or potential victim (?!) and I’m neither satisfied nor content with myself. There’s never enough. It is one’s state of complete isolation from self, others, and God, which we may call hell. Jesus’ death is the death of this existential death that he died for others. There’s no room for envy to sneak in on the cross. Nowadays we may be more afraid to face biological death than existential death. The more we accept the nature of life that we return to dust at some point, the more we become open than closed to ourselves, others, and God. This is how we move beyond birth and death with our baptized bodies and live fuller to the openness of God who expands our beloved communion with our neighbors in Christ through Holy Eucharist. Amen. For us Christians, it’s crucial to actually know and remember the good news of Jesus. What did he proclaim? What news did he consider as good for all? Jesus didn’t tell people to join a new religion called Christianity. Although he did tell us to follow him to the cross, that’s not really the good news he first shared with people. His good news was “Repent, for the kingdom of God is near.” What this message means to get its core would be, “Look inside, for the kingdom of God is in you.”
Just as in the parable of Jesus this morning, the kingdom of God is scattered and planted on the ground of our hearts. It is already grown and ripe for the harvest. Let’s not be mistaken that this kingdom of God is something that we have to grow. As the sower in the parable does not know how the seed would sprout and grow, we also do not know how the seed of God’s kingdom sprout and grow. Jesus says, “The earth produces of itself, first the stalk, then the head, then the full grain in the head.” The only thing left to do is to go out with a sickle because the harvest has come. That the kingdom of God is already within us, is already here and now, and is already ripe for the harvest is in and of itself God’s grace for us all. We are then to realize what’s yet unsought within us, what’s yet hidden here and now in us, and what’s yet to be harvested. Our spiritual practice is to move from our unreality of “not yet” to God’s reality of “already” with the guidance of the Spirit. No need to look further but only to look inwardly as if we’re shedding light on the inner part of ourselves. Once we know how to look deep inside us and discover the seed of the kingdom of God already ripe for the harvest, we also can see the same in others, particularly those whose behaviors or characters don’t seem to have anything sacred in them! To see the kingdom of God in them is our way of love and to help them see for themselves this kingdom in them is God’s ministry. This task of looking inwardly or gazing upon the kingdom of God is both difficult and simple. It’s difficult for two reasons: (1) because it’s like a mustard seed in the parable of Jesus which is the smallest of all the seeds when sown upon the ground, we don’t see it. The dirt of thoughts, feelings, words, and actions hides the divine seed. Also, (2) due to the very nature of God’s kingdom in us that sustains our being, we seem to take for granted this source of our existence. It’s like we don’t usually thank the air we breathe in as much as we don’t thank our ability to breathe. Gratitude helps us get out of ourselves in that it wakes us up from the illusion that we can independently sustain ourselves on our own or that we are created out of our own image. Gratitude reveals our impermanent and interdependent nature. Then, it is essential to brush off by means of self-compassion the dirt of thoughts, feelings, words, and actions that either judge ourselves and others or puff up our ego wand develop a habit of gratitude that acknowledges our interdependence on God, others, and the universe. In other words, we must learn to quiet down all our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions as well as our bodies with a sense of gratitude. Once we delve into the practice of sitting in silence to settle down our busy minds with a grateful heart, everything becomes simple. We don’t need to go anywhere to be in the kingdom of God. We don’t need to look outside to find God. God has already given us the gift of the kingdom of God within us. This inner kingdom is where Jesus leads us. I can suggest one way that can help you experience the inner kingdom of God. Find a quiet place and sit in silence. Think about people who have helped you to be where you are right now. Without them, you wouldn’t even be able to make it this far. Imagine all the faces of those for whom you’re thankful. Move your gratitude to things around you. The chair where you’re sitting quietly, the air you’re breathing in and out, the body you have now, etc. Once we concentrate on gratitude, our minds are not distracted by anything. Gratitude becomes a peaceful distraction that shuts down all other distractions. Don’t be surprised to discover that this spiritual practice of calm abiding with gratitude is just a beginning. It motivates us to reach out to those in need as we become freer of ourselves. Jesus’ depiction of the mustard seed sown and grown up to become the greatest of all shrubs and put forth large branches is what we want to envision and embody in ourselves. Let us become the sacred place where the birds of the air can make nests in its shade. Amen. Rephrasing a saying “Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears,” blame dies when it directs to a contemplative heart. This heart that sees through what lies beneath and cuts through what’s covered does not discriminate but experiences all as one’s own. In this heart, there’s no ego which is one’s state of being full of oneself, self-serving, and self-centered. Rather, it is the state of one going out of oneself, surrendering oneself to the union with God. Jesus embodies what it means to be empty of oneself to embrace all within his arms spread on the cross.
In today’s lesson, we see how blame is born out of the ego and how blame is so contagious. Our sense of ego or self begins as soon as we know how to distinguish and separate ourselves from others. This is a natural human development to individual oneself from others. What’s so distinct and unique about myself becomes more conscious. As a parent, I notice how Theodore self-refers as Theo rather than “I” or “me.” For example, he would say, “Theo likes Cheetos.” Or he’s confused with how to use “you” and “I.” Instead of saying “I like Avocados,” he would say, “You like Avocados.” He hasn’t fully developed a sense of self yet but is quite clear when I try to take his chicken nuggets as he shouts at me, “Mine!” What I get out of this child development is how they make sense of the world and themselves. It’s unitary that there’s no distinction or separation between self and others/the world. They experience what’s around them as their own bodies that everything is part of them. It’s like expanding oneself to the world around rather than shrinking oneself only to the body as we do. For us, what doesn’t belong to our body is not considered a part of who we are. French Sociologist, Lucien Lévy-Bruhl would call this “participation mystique” in which we are one with the world as a baby in the mother’s womb. (Joanna Macy, World as Lover, World as Self, p.13) Our development of sense or this process of individuation is crucial to our survival as well as matters of human rights and scientific discoveries. Our sense of ego can also create a healthy boundary to protect ourselves and others from stepping on each other. But we can’t just remain in this stage. When we’re so distant from others that there’s only me, myself, and mine, we end up isolating ourselves from the world. Jesus who is selfless expands his boundary of who his mother, sisters, and brothers are that he says, “Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35) Reflecting back on the lesson today, this idea of separation from others or the world begins with the serpent. Eve is misinformed that she’ll be like God after eating the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden of Eden. This idea of becoming like God is false because Adam and Eve are already created in the image of God. They’re already like God. As soon as Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, they gain self-consciousness; “...the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves.” Then begins the blame game as God senses the absence of their presence or feels separated from them. God seeks and they hide. God asks them questions and they blame each other. This blame moves from Adam to Eve and then to the serpent. I imagine what if Adam and Eve responded to God’s question, “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” differently? What if they admit that they messed up and tried to take the blame on themselves? Wouldn’t it place God in a position to either let go or be angry about it? It seems to me the issue is not on eating the forbidden fruit or not. It already happened and we do what we’re told not to do anyway. It’s more about what we do after eating it. This blame game continues until our time. We continue to eat the forbidden fruit of dividing ourselves from others, discriminating against others with unconscious biases. God still seeks and we still hide. And this can and must change right here and right now with the help of the Holy Spirit. As we attune to others with compassion and empathy, seeing the world and others as our extended selves, we are one with the world and therefore with God. This expansion of self is to get out of ourselves. Ego shrinks the world whereas its lack expands us to the limitless realm of God who is “an infinite circle whose periphery is nowhere and whose center is everywhere.” (Ibid., p, 11) So asks God, “Where are you?” ‘No man is an island’ (John Donne, 1572-1631) No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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