In life, what is easy to get doesn’t carry much value or meaning. We don’t put much meaning or value into something that is easy to get. Something that requires our time and effort matters to us. What’s most difficult is what’s most meaningful. For the past few weeks, I have seen a crowd of high school and college graduates walking so happily and proudly with their graduation gowns on at subway stations. They have endured three, four years of going to school and fulfilling requirements for their studies. This is for some an easy task to fulfill but for those whose environment isn’t so supportive, this isn’t easy. Showing up requires a certain character or even a virtue of fortitude or unyielding courage in the face of hardship or firmness or grit.
What would be the most difficult, yet most meaningful and life giving task for us Christians? We might say making lots of money, nurturing our children, coming to church on Sundays, fighting for social justice issues, and etc. These are all good causes to stand up for, yet these are not essential elements of the Christian life. You can do all these things without being a Christian. For us Christians, all these things are considered various results or fruits of being a Christian. The most difficult, essential, yet most meaningful task or calling for us Christian is to follow Jesus, not alone, but with fellow Christian sisters and brothers. Nevertheless, calling this somewhat obvious and trivial aspect of our Christian life as the most difficult thing to do would puzzle some of us. Why is it the most difficult thing to do? Doesn’t baptism automatically make us followers of Christ? In a way, yes but not enough. It’s like you want to get better at basketball but do not practice how to dribble and how to make a shot. Not only do we need the help of the Holy Spirit but we ourselves need to set our will to become a faithful follower of Christ. The Holy Spirit is always ready for us but it is usually us who aren’t so attentive if not indifferent. So, simply put, my thesis/agenda is this: what’s most difficult is what’s most meaningful. And the most difficult and meaningful thing for us Christians to do is to follow Christ faithfully. Today’s gospel lesson shows us Jesus’s brief interaction with those who want to be his followers. It’s quite interesting how he deals with each one of them. The first one approaches Jesus and says, “I will follow you wherever you go.” This is rather surprising that Jesus gets to have a newcomer or someone who wants to be his disciple. But then, Jesus’s response is quite unusual and unwelcoming if not hostile. He says, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Which means those who follow him have nowhere to lay their heads either. So, what’s Jesus trying to do? Turning this person away? Well, before we answer, let’s look at the next two interactions. The second encounter goes like this. Jesus tells another person directly, “Follow me.” And that person says, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” He’s not saying no, but he has a specific condition or obstacle. “Not just now. I’ll certainly follow you but let me first handle this.” We have no idea whether his father recently died or hasn’t died yet but his point is that he cannot follow Jesus right away. Jesus then responds, “Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” He sets the kingdom of God over family values. Then, Jesus’s prioritizing of the gospel becomes clearer in the third encounter. The person who Jesus tells to follow answers, “I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus is skeptical and says, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” He sounds like “Cut your family ties for the kingdom of God. Don’t even say good-bye to them.” Jesus’s emphasis on the urgency and priority of the kingdom of God over family values and relationships is quite offensive to the generation in his time as well as ours. This urgency is often found in St Paul’s letters. He recommends Christians to not marry. He doesn’t ban marriage but what’s more spiritually beneficial is the life of celibacy. He believed the second coming of Jesus would take place in his lifetime. So he thought rather than spending our time focusing too much on family responsibilities, spreading the gospel came first. What about the first encounter in which Jesus seems to turn away his potential follower? He’s indeed discouraging the one who would like to follow him while troubling those who would still like to follow him once they hand over their family values and say goodbye to their family. Jesus clearly is not so good at attracting people. If I were next to him, I might want to tell him, “Lord, I think I will be better at recruiting people. Can you please not tell them anything?” At this point, let’s reframe what’s really going on with Jesus. What’s the whole point of Jesus discouraging the one who wants to follow or rushing the ones who will follow to not look back? I believe what Jesus is doing in common with all these three potential followers of his is the reality check. To the one who believes he or she can follow, Jesus goes directly to the reality of Christian discipleship. “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Following him doesn’t give us fame or honor or respect. Don’t be naive about it. It’s the most difficult journey to be on. Do you really want that? To the ones who want to take care of their family matters first, Jesus urges, “Cut that family ties. Expand your understanding of what family is in the kingdom of God. Do you not realize we are brothers and sisters, tied by my body and blood, not by your biological links?” Commit your whole self to the kingdom of God. “Commit your entire life to me, ” says Jesus. Jesus’s calling to the discipleship probably sounds too difficult to keep up with. But my friends, as I said earlier in the beginning of my homily, what’s most difficult is what’s most meaningful. This Christian life is the life of freedom. In this total commitment to Jesus, at first it seems there’s no freedom but rather religious slavery or fanaticism. Well, before we judge whether Christian discipleship is of religious fanaticism, let’s listen to St Paul in the second lesson. He says Christ has set us free. There’s nothing that binds us any more. We are created to be free. That Christ has given us freedom is quite true because whether to follow Jesus or not already presupposes we have freedom to choose. If we’re not up for it, we don’t have to. But let’s give it a try. This life Jesus calls us to live as well as the life of freedom St Paul calls us to live out are the same. St Paul makes it more concrete what it’s like to live our lives as Jesus’s disciples. It is the life of love. Love your neighbor as yourself. This is the only proper way to truly love yourself as well as others. Loving God requires loving ourselves and others. St Paul has a sense of humor as he explains this life of love. “If you don’t love your neighbor as yourself, this is what happens. You bite and devour one another. Be careful not to be eaten by others.” He definitely has a point. If you don’t live this life of love, you will be quite dead. If you do, you will face the death of Jesus. Either way, we die once. But what really matters is that we live everyday. (We don’t live once.) With what do you want to live your life until your death? What kind of death would you like to have? Being eaten or consumed by others whom you don’t call neighbors? Or being crucified with Christ with the promise of the resurrection? In my liturgy class, this professor talked about what he would like to see in every Sunday mass. He would like to see every single baptized Christian in an alb because that white alb is the true cloth that every baptized Christian wears, not just clergy or the ones at the altar. I want to push a little further that I hope to see every single Christian wearing a collar around their necks like our Jewish brothers wearing a yamaka hat. The most legitimate reason why clergy wear a collar is to remind other Christians of who they really are and to what life they are called to live out. My friends, don’t forget who you are as Jesus’s disciples and to what life you’re called to live out. It’s the life of love. I ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of fortitude, one of the four cardinal virtues, that we become firm and persistent like Elisha who refused to leave his teacher Elijah and like the author of Psalm today whose hands are stretched out by night and refused to be comforted. And you are not on this journey of Christian discipleship. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. If someone asks me, “What distinguishes your religion from others?” I would point him to the mystery or puzzlement (?) of the Holy Trinity. I would do this, not because I totally understand what the Trinity is all about. Never! It’s rather that this particular mystery and wisdom of God makes us wonder and humble our human knowledge of things around us that we do not and cannot understand everything even though we will try our best to grasp things around us.
Trinity, however, is such a topic that most clergy would prefer not to talk about for many reasons. Throughout the Church’s history, theologians have tried to make sense of the doctrine of the Trinity. Some were criticized as heretics, not because they were not faithful Christians but because they exclusively focused more on one aspect over others. In a way, the teaching of Trinity has produced many heretics. So, no wonder why people avoid talking about it. In my theological training, I learned how to talk about the Trinity without violating other elements. I remember one of my church history professors jokingly said, “Don’t try to explain it. Once you do, you end up becoming a heretic.” This, of course, does not mean there’s no meaning in explaining what the Trinity is. It just is a tough topic to tackle. And at times, it becomes an obstacle to articulate our faith. As I further reflect on the mystery or puzzlement of the Holy Trinity, I realize all my efforts to understand and explain are missing some things that are most fundamental to our Christian faith. What’s the purpose for us to know about the Trinity? What’s the purpose for God to reveal himself in a trinitarian manner? What do we get out of it? How does our belief in the Triune God help us love God and others more and live our lives more faithfully according to God’s will? Perhaps, you might say, “Well, this doctrine of the Trinity really has nothing to do with my faith. I believe in Jesus and love him. And most importantly, I know Jesus loves me. This is all that matters to me.” This reasonable and simple response is actually how we ought to begin our understanding of the Trinity. Jesus loves us. This is all that matters to us and our understanding of God’s love spoken in the trinitarian way. At this point, I’m not going to go into theological concepts. Rather, I would like us to think of this term “trinitarian” as a language. In English, the name of a national language is commonly the same as the national adjective. So, for Russia, its national language is Russian. For Greece, it’s national language is Greek. For Korea, it’s Korean. Now, for the city of God, it’s Trinitarian. So, I want us to imagine that God speaks Trinitarian. It’s the language of God. As we know, the most effective way to communicate with one another is to speak the same language. So, when I first came to this country, the first thing I needed to do was to learn English. What about with infants? We need to learn how to baby talk. What about with dogs? We learn our way to communicate with dogs or cats by using some words, not full sentences. When my dog, for example, really has to go outside, he stands at the front door. The essence of this communication is to be on the same page. And what compels one to communicate deeper with another is a general sense of love. Back to the language of God that God speaks Trinitarian. God being divine then is to speak the human language in order to fully communicate with us humans. The most radical way for God to do so wouldn’t be that God learns English. Of course, God knows all the languages and all other means to communicate with us. But the most radical way for God to fully communicate with us is to become human, to be where we are. Jesus of Nazareth is then the human language of God. Traditionally, we thus call him the Word of God incarnate. The divine language of God became human in Jesus. When we hear Jesus, we hear God talking to us. When we see Jesus, we see the language of God becoming flesh. When we look at Jesus, we can imagine what God is like. So again, that rather reluctant response, “What matters to me is that Jesus loves me. Not so much about this Trinity thing.” is surprisingly how we start learning to speak the language of God which is Trinitarian. Jesus himself is our language teacher to help us speak this Trinitarian language and is the language itself. So here’s how he teaches us. Jesus calls God the Father. He identifies himself as the Son. Which means God is the Father to Jesus. Remember Jesus’s baptism when the voice of God said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” (Mt. 3:17) What these terms, “Father and Son” tell us is their relationship to each other. Jesus relates himself to God as the Son as God relates himself as the Father. This relationship is mutual. Then the Father breathes forth the Breath, the Life, the Vitality, the Joy, and the Delight. The Father breathes forth the Holy Spirit. And the Son also breathes forth the same Spirit, especially after his resurrection. Both the Father and the Son breath forth the same Breath of Love to each other. This Love, whose proper name is the Holy Spirit, then proceeds from the Father and the Son. We are then invited to participate in these subsistent relations of the divine life. Through Jesus with the help of the Holy Spirit, we enter this divine life of the Trinity. Through baptism, we stand in the place of Jesus. We become adopted as God’ children. We enter into Jesus’s relationship to God as the Son to the Father. Through the Son, God becomes “our” Father, and the Holy Spirit is breathed into us. For us personally, all these trinitarian terms of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit exist in “subsistent relations.” What I mean by this is that we can’t talk about the Father without Jesus who is the Son. We can’t talk about the Son without God who is the Father. We can’t talk about the Holy Spirit without the relationship between the Father and the Son. Analogically speaking, it’s like a marriage. In a married relationship between John and Jane, John becomes the only husband to Jane. Jane in turn becomes the only wife to John. The husband and the wife represent who John and Jane are to each other in their relationship. The husband and the wife become one body as they love each other. So, how we make sense of the Trinity is to think in terms of relations. I may have greatly failed to talk about the Trinity this morning. At least, I have shown how challenging it is to talk about the mystery of the Trinity! But one of many reasons why we trouble grasping a bit of this mystery would be that we think of ourselves as individuals. We’re too used to seeing ourselves as one single unit. For example, all I can and would say about me is that I’m just Paul. That’s who I am. But in the trinitarian language, this is not true. I’m to my parents a son. I’m to my wife a husband. I’m to my son a father. I’m to you a brother in Christ. My identity is not just myself, but this whole system of relations I have with other people. The mystery of the Trinity is to remind us that we’re connected to one another in love just as we can think of the divine persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as subsistent relations. When God sees you, you’re not just one single individual. God sees you in relation to your family, friends, and all who are involved in your life. And most importantly, God sees you as God’s beloved child. God relates himself to you as the Prodigal Father who runs to you, hugs you, and kisses you with eternal love. Then, this trinitarian mystery is for you to see yourself as God’s beloved child and see others as the same through the Son. This much of talk on the Trinity would be enough for me and all of us today as Jesus says in today’s gospel lesson, “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. When do you experience the Holy Spirit working most visibly in your life? It can be when you get up in the morning and have another new day. Or it can be this very fact you came here this morning to worship God with other brothers and sisters in Christ. There can be many answers to this question. What would you consider the work of the Holy Spirit that is most significantly experienced and felt in your daily life? As you can see, I’m not asking for some miraculous experience that you had with the Holy Spirit such as speaking in tongues or a dramatic conversion story.
St Paul in the second lesson says something quite interesting in regard to this work of the Holy Spirit. He seems to share his personal experience of the Holy Spirit with Christians in Rome. He first talks about a spirit of slavery and a spirit of adoption. The basic logic of his argument is that if you call God “Abba, Father,” this is the Holy Spirit bearing witness with our spirits that we are children of God. Now, I’m more interested in where this calling of God as Abba Father takes place. What would you say where this happens? In what context do you call God Abba Father? Prayer. This calling God as Father happens in our prayer life. Last Sunday, I preached on this topic of prayer because we listened to the prayer of Jesus not just for his disciples but also for all of us and everyone else who believe in him. When we enter into this time and place of prayer, we stand before God who is loving, kind, gentle, and compassionate to us. I’m very much aware that some Christians do not prefer Calling God Father for many legitimate reasons, but as I understand the Church tradition, this calling of God Abba Father matters for two reasons. One is that it’s the language of Jesus in his prayer life, especially the prayer that he taught us. (The Lord’s Prayer) The other reason is that calling God Father is not about portraying the masculine or patriarchal image of God (e.g. think of the prodigal father in Jesus’s parable) but really about how God relates himself to us and see us as God’s children. The point is that we are God’s children who God is so in love with. This intimate, loving, and caring relationship is the very context where we call God Father. So back to the first question, “When do you experience the Holy Spirit working most visibly in your life?” It’s when you pray. This is not to say that the Holy Spirit isn’t working at other times. Of course, she does. But it’s in prayer when the Holy Spirit is mostly visible in our lives. And today, we celebrate the Day of Pentecost, the coming of the Holy Spirit. In our second lesson, we see the disciples gathered in one place to worship and pray. Every Christian gathering begins and ends with prayers. When two or three are gathered in Jesus’s name, Jesus is present, particularly in our communal prayers. We pray to the Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit. This very act of prayer is how we participate in the divine life of God or in the trinitarian life of God. In your prayer life, before you say anything, before you bring to God what you really want, take a deep breath in and out. Feel this breath. And imagine that this very breath coming into your body and soul is the very Breath that the Father breathes forth through the Son. It is the breath of God sustaining your life. And the breath in you is also the Joy and Delight of God nurturing and loving you. In this simple awareness of your own breathing in and out, you become aware of the Holy Spirit, the life, the vitality, the joy of God. And with this awareness in prayer, we bring ourselves to the presence of God who has never been absent. Rather, we become more present to God’s loving and compassionate presence. As you breathe in, feel the love that God has poured out in you through the Holy Spirit (Rm 5:5). As you breathe out, feel the freedom that God has set before you through the Holy Spirit. From this rather personal experience of the Holy Spirit, we then move out to a larger setting where God is present to other brothers and sisters in Christ. The Breath of God in me is also in them. The gift of the Holy Spirit is given to all on this Day of Pentecost. Not just me. In our prayer life, we breathe together with others in Christ the same Breath of God. You might think you’re just praying on your own in your private prayer time, but that’s not true. You’re spiritually in communion with your fellow Christians, whether they’re alive here on earth or deceased now. And the Eucharist is the official sign of that communion visibly shown by which we are eternally bound to the Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit. My friends, I once again talked about prayer. It seems this topic has nothing to do with Pentecost which we celebrate today. But there is. Often, the significance of this gift of the Holy Spirit on this 50th day after Easter Sunday is on our second lesson that the disciples who were gathered on this very day started speaking in different languages when they were filled with the Holy Spirit. The point of this miraculous event of the Church, however, isn’t so much about them speaking in different languages but really about the very purpose and goal of that event. People who were once separated from each other due to language barriers or whatever barriers they had were now connected by the Holy Spirit. The person who speaks a different language than mine, meaning that person who has nothing to do with me is now connected to me by the Holy Spirit. Somehow, for some reason, I’m connected to that person. That person matters to me. And that person is also the precious child of our loving God. In this sense, the very act that we enter into prayer is a dangerous business. We not only encounter God who sees us as God’s children but we are also called to encounter others who God sees as God’s beloved too. Just like us, they are God’s children. In God, we are connected as Christ’s sisters and brothers. In prayer, we’re connected. In the Eucharist through baptism, we are publicly and visibly connected with one another as brothers and sisters. This very human connection which has become possible through the divine connection is what we celebrate. This may be one of the reasons why the Church has considered Pentecost as the birthday of the Church. For us Christians, we do not find the very meaning of life on alone. Neither do we just with God alone. We find and experience it with one another, with other sisters and brothers, through the Son in the Holy Spirit who is breathed forth from the Father. Let us pray to God that Saint Agnes Church becomes the place where this very meaning of life is found for those who have lost it. How do we do that? If we start discovering it ourselves here in Saint Agnes Church, God will send those who will find it themselves as well which will also flourish all of us in turn. Come, Holy Spirit upon our hearts. Let the Joy of the Father through the Son be in our hearts so that we become more loving and more open to one another as God’s children. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. We Christians have been told many times prayer is something we ought to do. This past Friday in my spirituality group at the hospital, the group members somehow got interested in this topic of prayer which wasn’t actually the topic of the day. Looking too religious, it seems, evokes a very religious conversation at times. One of the group members said, “I always pray. I always talk to God.” What this comment says is her understanding of prayer as conversation with God. What do you think prayer is? Is it talking with God? In our Prayer Book, we have the Catechism. It is a great resource if you have questions about fundamental Christians concepts. If you open up the page 856, it defines what prayer is. It is “responding to God, by thought and by deeds, with or without words.” And “Christian prayer” is “responding to God the Father, through Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit.”
What’s interesting and strange is that prayer is responding to God, not just talking to God. Responding presupposes someone has already talked to you, that God has already reached out to you, that God has first initiated God himself to you, that God has first loved you. Then, it means even before we begin to pray, meaning even before we begin to respond, God speaks. God prays. All our prayers are simply our conscious or unconscious response to God who first comes to us. What do you think of this understanding of prayer as responding to God? When you pray, do you feel like responding to God? If so, what exactly are you responding about? If not, what do you pray about? If prayer is about our responding to God, then our response better be good. So much pressure! Who would really want to pray, thinking my response to God should be right, smart, noble, and spiritual? It’s like responding to a teacher who gives you difficult questions. Then, another question is to whom are we really praying and responding? Are we praying to a strict teacher who is eager to give us an F or a furious and punitive judge who picks on what we say wrong? Or are we responding to God who is good, loving, caring, impassible, omnipresent, and omnipotent? In today’s gospel lesson, we see Jesus prays. We listen to what he prays about. There’s something interesting about listening to someone’s prayer. In my visit with patients, I pray with them quite a bit. And sometimes, I find out the roommate of the patient I pray with listens to my prayer. There was once this patient whose roommate I just prayed with commenting on my prayer that it was “good.” As we listen to Jesus’s prayer, what do you think of it? Let’s not forget that Jesus prays not only for his disciples but also for those who believe in him. This means he also prays for us, and today’s prayer in the gospel is his prayer for us about being one with God. “I in them and you in me.” “Jesus in us and God the Father in him.” What we hear in Jesus’s prayer is God’s desire of being in union with us. And Jesus responds to that desire of the Father as he too desires to be in union with us. God prays in Jesus, and Jesus responds to God. This prayer of Jesus, however, doesn’t help us pray or respond well to God. If we’re taught to pray for all the spiritual matters or something like world peace, let’s be honest, no one will be eager to pray. That kind of prayer life would be lifeless, boring, and pretentious. I don’t believe that is what Jesus is doing here. He’s not just praying right things before God. He really is asking something for God. The content of it represents his will being one with God’s will. The base of his prayer is his petition to God. He prays what he wants from God. If we look at the prayer Jesus has taught us, that is, the Lord’s Prayer or the Our Father, it is filled with petition. In the beginning, it’s about praying what God wills. Then, Jesus asks for daily bread, forgiveness, protection from temptation, and deliverance from evil. So again, I’m back to the question I asked you in the beginning. What do you pray about? And how is your prayer life? Has it been consistent or only happening at bedtime? Is your prayer about God’s will or world peace? Often, prayer can be something we feel like we have to do as Christians. Even when you pray privately, you might get easily distracted and bored. Victor White and Herbert McCabe, both Dominican friars, say something very interesting about our prayer life. They say the reason why people don’t like to pray or get distracted in their prayer life is because they are praying for something they ought to, not something they want. They suggest that we should pray for what we want, not just something vaguely, but something that we really really want.* That can be your health, the car you dream of, or some kind of material you would like to purchase. This can be a beautiful house. It doesn’t matter what you want. It matters you pray for what you want. Knowing what you really want is where you start when you pray. This approach changes then the way we look at God. We’re no longer praying to a god who is a mean and strict teacher, picking on your wrong answers, but to God who is so in love with you. Whatever we say to him, it is fine. There’s no rebuke. There’s no judgment. There’s no F in your transcript. Be honest to God. Find out what you really want and desire as you respond to God’s love in your prayer. Knowing your true desire is knowing who you are. And God will start from there. God will grow you and raise you from where you are. And remember this is a dangerous and daunting business because once we start praying for what we really want, God will change and transform us. God will help us find what we truly want from him. And in today’s gospel lesson, according to Jesus, what we really want even know we do not yet know and feel that’s what we want is being one with God. All we want is God, Jesus prays. Asking what he really wants is how Jesus starts praying to God the Father who is love. Let’s not forget Jesus’s prayer that he said before his death on the cross, “Abba, Father, for you all things are possible; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want.” (Mk 14:36) He honestly brings what he really wants. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to drink the cup of death. Yet, he learns in his prayer that what he really wants is what God wants, whether that is death or life. As Christians, all our prayer is done in this prayer of Jesus who shows what he wants and discovers all he wants is God. And in today’s gospel lesson, Jesus prays for his disciples and all those who believe in him what we will truly want for ourselves. In his prayer this morning, we are being prayed to discover what we truly want from God for ourselves. This is one of the reasons why we pray to God the Father, through Jesus the Son, in the Holy Spirit. Through the prayer of Jesus, we figure out what we want. So my friends, pray. Pray for what you want. Do not judge yourself if you’re praying for something that is not spiritual, far from the will of God. Start from where you are as you talk to God what you want. God will then grow you. God will show you what you truly want for you and for God himself. Abbot John Chapman once said, “Pray as you can, not as you can’t.” St Paul also assures us not to worry too much about praying right. He says, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.” (Rm 8:26) Once you start from what you want, Jesus is already in you and God the Father in Jesus. And the love that God the Father has loved Jesus is also in you. This will eventually change. We will confess in our prayer that it is not Jesus who is in us. It is not God the Father or God the Holy Spirit in us. It is us who are in the loving presence of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And all we want is God himself. That’s when we respond to God, “yet, not my will but yours will be done.” (Lk 22:42) Prayer becomes the place where God’s grace is intimately active. Prayer becomes our journey to God who is love. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. * Herbert McCabe, God Matters , p. 223 |
Paul"...life up your love to that cloud [of unknowing]...let God draw your love up to that cloud...through the help of his grace, to forget every other thing." Archives
January 2025
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