23rd Sunday after Pentecost/Proper 27A(Joshua 24.1-3a, 14-25; Psalm 78.1-7; 1 Thess. 4.13-18; Mt. 25.1-13)

If there’s one common, universal thing that people dislike most, I would say, people hate doing, is to wait. I don’t have a scientific data if this is the most hated situation, but I have always seen and heard what patients and families in the hospital almost always complain about is this wait.

When a patient gets to the ER, he waits for a doctor and a nurse to examine him. If he’s sick enough to be admitted, he has to wait for a room upstairs to be available for him. Often, particularly in NYC, people wait for hours. When it’s worst, I have seen them waiting for more than 30 hours. After a couple of hours of waiting for an inpatient room, he finally gets it. Now he waits for his medical team to come and explain what’s going on with his body. Of course, they can’t say anything specific unless they have data. So, the patient has to go through all the tests. Waiting again to be taken to various labs and waiting for all the pathology reports to come back. And waiting again for his doctors to come up with some decent plans. Until this patient gets to go home, he has to wait for all the discharge papers to be finalized. I wonder why someone who is admitted to a hospital is called a patient. They are destined to be patient.

I’m sure we all have this experience of endless waiting, at a government agency like the DMV or at an airport or at a grocery store or even at a church during Sunday service when a priest doesn’t seem to finish his sermon while food for the coffee hour gets cold! There’s an article about the psychology of waiting. It points out what makes waiting seem longer or worse. The uncertainty which creates anxiety makes waiting seem longer. Unanticipated and unexplained waits can be worse. Unfair waits are much more unbearable than equitable waits. And lastly, solo waits seem longer than group or social waits. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sideways-view/201411/the-psychology-waiting)

What this research tells us is that we cannot avoid waiting in our lives, but we can handle and manage it better. That is, it is important to have knowledge and explanation of the delay. And it’s also important to wait as a group. I think these two simple pearls of wisdom help us hear what God tells us today in the gospel lesson since today’s parable talks about waiting.

We heard Jesus talking about the parable of ten bridesmaids or virgins. Five are considered to be wise or prudent, φρόνιμος which is a better translation than wise. Other five are thought to be foolish. This parable is one of the difficult parables to make sense of. I can think of two things that are difficult to understand. First, it is the behavior and attitude of the five wise, prudent bridesmaids when the other five ask for extra oil. The foolish bridesmaids say to the prudent, “give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.” But the prudent say, “No! There will not be enough for you and for us; you had better go to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.” As Christians, we are taught to share our belongings, if not our lives, with others.

The other difficulty to make sense of is the image of the lord who shuts his door to the foolish bridesmaids. This portrait of the lord is quite a mean one. The foolish bridesmaids after getting their oil come to the lord and say, “Lord, lord, open to us.” But he replies, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” This doesn’t look like a Christian thing to do. Doesn’t Jesus say, “Knock, and the door will be open to you.” (Mt. 7.7)? The foolish bridesmaids are denied entry into the wedding banquet for being not on time. We might wonder if that is too big of a deal or even a sin to be refused to join the party. There is a lack of evil behaviors that are often found in those who are refused to join the party in the parables of Jesus. But in this parable, that’s not the case. Also considering the biblical tradition that foolishness and wickedness are interchangeable, it is hard to pinpoint what’s so evil about the foolish bridesmaids.

Often the teaching of this parable is emphasized in the very last verse that says, “Keep awake, therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” If we merely focus on this one verse, then the parable becomes about how important it is to keep awake. But that’s not what’s happening in the parable. The prudent bridesmaids as well as the foolish ones, all of them become drowsy and fall asleep. It’s not that the prudent ones stay all night. They too sleep. The only difference between the prudent bridesmaids and foolish or wicked bridesmaids is that the prudent ones stay prudent, which means they take flasks of oil with their lamps. What does the word “prudent” mean? Doesn’t it mean that one is “acting with or showing care and thought for the future?” (Oxford Dictionary)

The prudent bridesmaids prepare themselves with extra flasks of oil, showing care and thought for the future. They are open to the possibility that the bridegroom would come in his own time. We have no idea whether these wise bridesmaids expect the bridegroom to delay his coming. But they’re at least ready and prepared for the delay. They are very much aware that it is not up to them whether the bridegroom would come on time that they don’t need extra flasks of oil. They are not in control of his coming and going. There’s humility in them. There’s also hope that the bridegroom will come when it’s time.

On the other hand, the foolish bridesmaids make no room for delay, but only for punctuality. Their behavior shows that the bridegroom must come on time that they don’t need extra flasks of oil. They expect him to come on their schedule, not on his own. They are in charge of the bridegroom’s coming and going. They’re in control. When they realize that the bridegroom’s whereabouts are not in their control, they panic. Their lamps are no longer lit. They have no extra flasks of oil. They try to undo their incorrect understanding of time, it’s too late. The door is shut.

The metaphor of having extra flasks of oil is not limited to one’s preparedness for the future. It’s not so much about being diligent. It’s one’s confession of faith that time doesn’t belong to us. Time is not in our control. The Bishop of Rome, Pope Francis once said in his homily, “Time is not ours, time belongs to God! The moment is in our hands, and so is the freedom we have in how we seize it. Now we may become sovereigns of the moment, but time has only one sovereign, only one Lord, Jesus Christ.” (Encountering Truth, p. 256)

The prudent bridesmaids are wise because of their humility before God. They know that time belongs to God, not to them, not to any human being. They have the love for the one whom they’re waiting to see. They have hope that they’ll see the bridegroom soon or later. Humility, love, and hope prepare them to greet the bridegroom. They allow themselves to be led on the bridegroom’s time. They allow themselves to live and act on the bridegroom’s time. They fall asleep like the foolish ones, but their sleep is not the same kind. Their sleep is prayerful, restful, and hopeful because they live in the time of God.

There are two Greek words for time. One is kronos and the other kairos. Kronos is the time measured impersonally and numerically. The English word “chronological” finds its root from this Greek word kronos. Kairos, on the other hand, is the time measured personally and experientially. It runs in human consciousness. Spiritually speaking, it is the time when people experience love, grace, and hope. It is the time when people experience God. It solely belongs to God alone.

Having extra flasks of oil or not is really about whether we live in kronos or kairos. Which time are we living? What are we anticipating and longing to see in our times? If one lives at the time of kronos, they don’t need flasks of oil. All they need is their lamps that will eventually tell them their time is up and it is far from the eternity. If one lives in the time of kairos, they will have flasks of oil in their hands, believing and knowing that time belongs to the Bridegroom and desiring to see him. Only those with flasks of oil can live without fear, facing the evil of the world. We’re not called to be liberals or conservatives, but to be the prophets of Christ. The prophets have their flasks of oil in their hands, living in the time of kairos in which God's humility and compassion reign in Christ. What do we have in our hands now? What are we hoping for? Are we hoping for the reign of God in the crucified and risen Christ in this world? It’s not so much about keeping awake all night. It’s about what timeline we’re living ourselves.

Back to the psychology of waiting. I mentioned that it gets easier to wait when we have knowledge of delay and when we wait as a group. In dealing with this holy business of waiting for the coming of Christ, we do have knowledge of delay that we do not know exactly when he will come. But with humility, faith, and love for Jesus, we leave it up to him. We allow ourselves to wait because time belongs to him. And we wait, not alone, but as a group, as a community of believers, as the Body of Christ. At the Eucharist, with extra flasks of oil in our hands, we taste and see the crucified and risen Christ, the Bridegroom. And we’re called to be the Body and Blood of Christ for the world that the poor and oppressed can taste and see the crucified and risen Christ. So, my brothers and sisters, have your extra flasks of oil with you always. Keep awake of what timeline you’re living in. Live your life, not in the time of kronos where you think you can control and rule, but in the time of kairos, in the time that belongs to God. Otherwise, it may be too late. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.